I just wanted something or someone to hold on, so hold on to me, as tight as you can, and I’ll be the man (the man that I never was) I should have always been. I’m not a man. I’m a clone of a demon derived from the feelings that we stuffed in the ceiling to hide from the condescending public with their sharp remarks that pierced through our armor and broke through our beings. My beating heart beats slower every day. My caring structure never cared anyway. My hating nature only hates on the person who strikes the first match even though we may be in need of a light. You can call me what you want, I know I’m better off alone in the cold. I can stand in the snow then join the rest by the fire. It only fuels our desire to seek first ourselves and put our lies on the shelves with the rest. From Hitler, to Gandhi, to Monroe, and Picasso, we mine as well just join them all. I didn’t want to be the one to go, but I didn’t get a choice and the worst is the friends that I’ve hurt and the lives I’ve destroyed. I won’t lie; there is a void in my heart. I just wanted something more. I hate lying on the floor. I always feel as if I’m born this way. My doctor won’t give me the pills that I need. Mother, I’m sorry, but I’m drowning in the sea.